My Daddy

Daddy died one year ago. It's still hard to comprehend that he's gone from this earth. I know without a doubt that he's in a much better place and is much happier now than he was the last few years of his life. Those last couple years were hard for us to watch, but I'm sure were much harder for him. Daddy was always one to be busy.  He could do anything with his hands. He could build a house, make repairs, haul rocks, build porch stairs, lay down decking, help me with my math problems, play ball, ...you name it, he could do it. I miss having him around. I loved his chuckle and his quiet wit. He could make us all laugh without saying much at all. He could just look at me when I was a kid and I knew I better straighten up my act. He was amazing and I miss him.  I look forward to the day when I can see him again. I know the rest of my family feels the same way. It will be a great reunion someday.

The day he died, we left Arizona and drove like crazy to get to Texas. But we were too late. We didn't get there before he passed.  They had taken him to the hospital because he wasn't doing well at all. Mother fully expected that he would return the next day, but he didn't.  Gary and Jim and I had to sit down with Mother and tell her that Daddy wasn't coming back. that he had passed away. The look on her face was so sad. I'll never forget it. Her companion of 63 years was gone. They did everything together. That night I went to the assisted living place to help her get into bed. I was straightening up her bedroom and she looked at me and said, "Now don't move any of your daddy's things. I want him to be able to find his stuff when he gets back."  Wow.  I looked at her and said, "Mother, Daddy's not coming back."  She sat down on the edge of her bed like someone had knocked the air out of her.  I sat down beside her and put my arm around her.  I told her that Daddy was much better off and that he wasn't in any more pain. I told her that he wasn't alone, but had probably been greeted by some of his long lost family members on the other side.  She said, "Do you really think so?"  I told her I did.  That seemed to comfort her but wow, it was hard to be the strong one. I'm usually the one that's a wreck. Somehow I think the Spirit guided me and helped me know what to say.  Up to very recent times in my life, my mother had always been the strong one, the one to try to uplift ME when things weren't going like I wanted them to. I'm still not sure I'm ready to be the brave one, the strong one, the comforter, advice giver, and matriarch.  Ready or not, I guess I'll have to. 

There's an old country song that reminds me of my Daddy. I love the words and thought I'd share the lyrics to Daddy's Hands.

I remember Daddy´s hands, folded silently in prayer.
And reaching out to hold me, when I had a nightmare.
You could read quite a story, in the callouses and lines.
Years of work and worry had left their mark behind.

I remember Daddy´s hands, how they held my Mama tight,
And patted my back, for something done right.
There are things that I´ve forgotten, that I loved about the man,
But I´ll always remember the love in Daddy´s hands.

I remember Daddy´s hands, working 'til they bled.
Sacrificed unselfishly, just to keep us all fed.
If I could do things over, I´d live my life again.
And never take for granted the love in Daddy´s hands.

Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was cryin´.
Daddy´s hands, were hard as steel when I´d done wrong.
Daddy´s hands, weren´t always gentle
But I´ve come to understand.
There was always love in Daddy´s hands.

There was always love .....In Daddy´s hands.

I LOVE YOU DADDY AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE DAY WHEN WE CAN BE TOGETHER AGAIN! TAKE CARE OF MAMA FOR US!
Love Your daughter, Tamra